To Build Our Lives Brick by Boring Brick

 

Image owned by Emma Li on Pexels

Disclaimer:

I already have permission to share all the conversations I write here.

A totally random message popped up on my WhatsApp a week ago from one of the most expensive influencers I worked with during my advertising days. And yes, as far as I know, she’s still expensive.

Influencer: “Ega, is Bali still sexy in terms of exposure? I’ve already visited all those hip and hidden gem places. I don’t think there’s anywhere new to explore.”

I squinted at the message. The last time we had a proper conversation was about three years ago. No “Hi, how are you?” or “Heeeyyy giiirrrlll, ada seratus?” I always liked her—straight to the point, no small talk—but she still lacked unggah-ungguh (that’s a Javanese term for which I don’t know an English equivalent. Politeness? Decorum?).

Anyway, I replied:

Me: “Hey girl, I’m good. Ubud’s weather has been really unpredictable, but I can manage. Anyway, can you elaborate on the ‘exposure’ you’re talking about? Like, not the definition, but what exactly do you mean by it?”

She elaborated on her obsession with “exposure,” while my mind started playing “Brick by Boring Brick” by Paramore, throwing me back to 2016. We were at one of the trendiest coffee shops in South Jakarta, 10 minutes from my office. She always wanted to meet there to discuss projects, and contracts, or just hang out when she was bored.

It was a hot day in South Jakarta. She was on her second glass of iced matcha and giving me feedback on a video script we were about to shoot:

Influencer: “I don’t think this character suits the brand image I’m trying to build right now. It’s heading in the right direction, but I’m not sure if I want to start building it yet.”

Me: “I hear you, and I totally get it. Since you brought this up, have you considered the optics or the narrative we’re creating here? Think of it as a subliminal message. And, of course, there’s the exposure you’ll get from this.”

She stared at me, sipping her matcha. We locked eyes for what felt like an eternity, and then she nodded. We shook hands, and I never imagined that I’d planted this whole exposure-worship seed in her head. From that day on, her life revolved around exposure—exposure this, exposure that, go-fuck-yourself exposure. You get the picture.

“Well, she lives in a fairy tale
Somewhere too far for us to find
Forgotten the taste and smell
Of a world that she’s left behind
“It’s all about the exposure, the lens,” I told her
The angles were all wrong now
She’s ripping wings off butterflies.”

I don’t hate influencers or key opinion leaders. The clients I worked with gave them tons of money. What I hate are the ones who refuse to educate themselves and blindly follow briefs without engaging their brains. Thankfully, I also worked with highly intuitive and smart influencers who’d ask for time to discuss the brief, provide meaningful feedback, and ensure we made clients happy—not just with product communication but with authentic storytelling. And these people didn’t care about exposure. They delivered their tasks beautifully, and on point.

“Keep your feet on the ground

When your head’s in the clouds.”

At the peak of influencer culture, the digital world was run by them. They weren’t just spreading campaign seeds but also shaping public intent. Some influencers started playing God, thinking they were untouchable. It became hard to discern genuine intent versus manipulation. Thank God for social listening tools, which helped people like me separate organic sentiment from fabricated hype—though the AI behind those tools still needs to catch up with slang and cultural nuances.

Image owned by Paramore Designs on Deviantart

“So one day he found her crying
Coiled up on the dirty ground
Her prince finally came to save her
And the rest you can figure out
But it was a trick, and the clock struck twelve
Make sure to build your home brick by boring brick

Or the wolf’s gonna blow it down.”

During the influencer boom, everyone claimed to be one. Fake followers, low engagement, perfectly curated lifestyles—all of it. National TV, desperate for fresh ideas, started airing clips from YouTube channels, further widening the social gap. But once the cameras were off, these influencers returned to their less glamorous reality.

“Go get your shovel

And we’ll dig a deep hole

To bury the castle, bury the castle.”

As a digital marketer, I worship authenticity. With authenticity, you can turn crap into gold. Real stories with genuine emotions are far more compelling than scripted perfection. That’s why I tattooed a Javanese proverb on my right arm: “Ojo rumongso biso, nanging bisoho rumongso.” = “Don’t just feel capable; be capable of feeling.” It reminds me to feel first, assess, then decide.

Image owned by Suliman Sallehi on Pexels

The WhatsApp conversation ended with me giving her recommendations for places to explore. She’s visiting Bali next summer and invited me to join her yacht adventure. Sounds dreamy, right? A big brand is footing the bill. Am I envious? Fuck yeah. But honestly, I’m happy enough to stroll around Bali on my scooter—James.

This is just a reminder to build our lives brick by boring brick. It’s hard work, I know. But what goes around always comes around. Just keep your feet on the ground, even when your head’s in the clouds.



Ubud, 24th December 2024
"Brick by Boring Brick" - Paramore