The Grief Hiding Underneath Your Female Rage
Female rage is having its moment. It's in the films, the songs, the captions — finally loud, finally allowed. And after a lifetime of being told to soften, smile, not make it weird, there's something powerful about a woman who lets herself be furious out loud. I'm not here to talk you out of the rage. I'm here to tell you it isn't the bottom of the thing. Because for most of us, the anger is the part we can bear to look at. Underneath it is something quieter, and much harder to feel. Rage is the part you're allowed to show now Notice how much easier anger has become to claim than sadness. "I'm so angry" has an edge to it. It sounds strong. It puts the problem out there — on them, on the world, on what was done to you. You get to stand up straight inside it. Rage feels like power, and after years of shrinking, power feels good. So when the feelings rise, anger is the one we reach for first. It's the emotion that lets us stay upright. I wrote a...